Hello everyone! How are you? I've been better! A lot better if you ask me! Yes, I'm still injured! I don't know what to do with my time! I feel kind of violated though! I want to work and earn money, but instead i get kicked in the backside and told to stay down in pain. I feel so guilty being this way! It's not fare to Joel.

Well, i don't really have much to update. I'm determined to get some more work up soon... i just haven't been in the right health or frame of mind to get creative.
My subscription ran out, so i had to buy it again! LOL stupid thing! Will get another year's subscription when i can afford it!

Ohh i do have some good news, QBE finally accepted my compo claim! YAY!! I'm going to be receiving money again!!! That relieved me a lot! Also, I've lost more weight! I'm now 108.6kg! I'm so happy!
Oh oww I cant type any more, I'll see you all later! Love you all!

- DVG

Goodness me... time flies when your busy and in agony all at the same time!
I do check in, i just sometimes cant bare the thought of typing for long periods of time.

Well, let's see what's happened since my last update on the 11th of March...
...Well our friends, Ash and Amanda had their twin girls on the 18th. Kymmy Ann & Amber Rose.

I met one of Joel's cousins, Kate. She is Dales sister (dale is living with Joel's parents).
I unfortunately had to have a lot of doctor visits too... one of which i was told that after my ultrasound and x-ray, which showed up with nothing, that they wanted an MRI preformed. I personally didn't know nor understand why they wanted it and what it was!! Then Joel told me, i got very worried... because I'm claustrophobic and being in a painful position all cramped up for almost an hour just made me want to vomit

Joel took the day off and drove me up into Subiaco (it just had to be far away huh!). He came as far as me having the get undress into their robes. I even took off my engagement ring... we were worried something could happen to it, me or the machine! I so didn't want too! I get so much comfort and relief in this tiny little diamond.

Joel would've been allowed in there if it weren't for his hand (when he tore the tendon he needed plastic surgery to fix it up... that could be effected by the radio-waves in the room). If he was allowed in there, i wouldn't have cried so much and gotten so scared!
At times i almost freaked out, i couldn't breathe and all i could do was cry! And that didn't make my situation any better

They had some headphone on me to help block out some of the noise, and so that i could hear them talking to me. We both warned them of my fear, and they took extra precautions with people like me.
They kept telling me that i didn't have to do this test if i mentally cant handle it, but the then if i didn't, the chances of them not knowing what is wrong with my arm and healing it would be slim too none.

With that stuck in my head, i bit the bullet. I know I'm a strong person... but i get scared too!
When i finally got out of there, i just held onto Joel. Feeling him made me feel so much better, but the noises the machine made were still ringing in my ears... then all i wanted was for him to take me as far away from that place as possible!
Being so scared, i kinda felt really depressed... i was really mopey for a while. We had previously planned to go down into Midland afterwards, and have a look in our favorite store - Lovers. I told him i wasn't up to it at all and just take me home.

He told me to pick what way we should go home. I quickly chose the freeway, and although i knew it was peak-hour traffic, i didn't care!! Because i knew that the polly-pipe would be buy too, and the last thing i would want is to be stuck in a small crowded place with no fresh air and no natural light!

I'm terrorized of the fucking polly-pipe. I've had to drive through it numerous times recently for our friends Ash & Amanda, i just go quiet whilst driving. I put my windows down and focus directly on the car in front of me. I'm too scared to look around or behind me!

Weird huh?

*sighs* well... what else happened? *looks into journal*
Oh yes... I've started physiotherapy for my arm, but i cant get into it much because all of my doctors and physicist are afraid of damaging me further. So like the first day i went, he just checked out if this or that hurt. They had theories of that it was an injury in my back, or neck. I just stared at him, shook my head and told him straight out "It's none of those, it's my arm and nothing else!".
So, now I'm seeming him 3 times a week... and all we're doing for the 20 minuet sessions are rubbing this ultra-sound like machine on my arm for 10 mins, and electro therapy for the other 10 mins.

These two exercises are supposed to help the swelling. For the first week it kinda went down, but now my arm has blown right back up... it's feeling worse actually!!
I've been getting very abstract muscle twitches. People tell me that it's a good thing, even though it hurts like hell! But tonight i had the worst ever! I though that my whole inside of my arm was twisting itself...like wringing it self out. I almost cried out, it hurt that much!

I some times really hate my luck! But it isn't all bad!!! At Blades VET, they had a little competition runny for people to get professional photo's taken with their pets. I won a consolation prize worth $500. Yay. So, on the 7th... i drove all the way up into East Perth, with the little meat head chewing on my hand break; just so we could get some adorable photo's of him. Tomorrow morning i will be going down to select my fave piece! I'll let you guy's know what i choose!

Oh, i do have some more personal but very happy news!
I've lost 6 Kilos!! :woot: I'm now 114kg I haven't been this small since... year 8? so like 2000. It's amazing what some pills can do to you I'm so happy with myself!

You know, I've been off work for 4 months now... and sitting at home for all the time really makes me feel weird. You'd think i would have a lot more photographs for you. More artistic flare... but im sorry to say that i don't. I have lots of ideas, but to hold anything heavier than a 600ml bottle for longer than a minuet, really hurts me!

I promise to add something in the near future!
Anyway, i must be off.. I have a lot to do tomorrow. Some times i wonder if i am actually resting or running around like a headless chicken! Love ya!

- DVG

G'day everyone! How are we all tonight?

I was sweating, but I'm all good now! I was gardening ^_^ Sometimes one needs something to do! LOL Blade joined me too, we chased the cat with the hose and then rolled around together. Silly Dog

Well, what's new? *hmm* well, if you read my last journal, you would know that i have 2 of my photographs in a public exhibition at Rainier's Gallery, Armadale. My work was the first one's up actually!!! And they're in the most awesome spot! *mwahaha*

Well today was an interesting one, but I'll get into that a bit later. Yesterday i finally got to see my specialist doctor to help diagnose my arm... turns out he don't know either. He told me to get a X-Ray and Ultrasound then come back to see him in 2 weeks time
Stupid doctors. Mean while, i get home and ring up the SKG radiology clinic at 2:40pm. The girl on the other line tells me; "We've had a cancellation for 2:50pm, you can come in!". I just stared at the phone as if i wanted to slap her but then agreed. I couldn't get outta there till 2:48pm, she kept asking me questions over the phone!

So i piss-bolt down there (speeding in local 50km zones and school areas) just so i can get there and finish this painful torture. I make it just in time, but I'm made to wait
So eventually my name was called by this little short Asian man and i followed him into an ultra-sound room and he told me to sit down on the chair and place my arm across the bed. So i did, we had very small talk and then he placed the blue gel on my arm and goes "Does this hurt?"

Digging the device deep into my most tender part of the arm. It became so un-bearable that i almost passed out. I begged for water and then i couldn't lift my head. We continued after i could see clearly again but then i began to cry. That's how much it hurts! I honestly just wanted to scream bloody murder and bolt outta there - BUT - my leg went dead! Like completely!

He finally finished, then offered me a seat around the side of his room to wait for my X-ray. I barely took a sip of my water before i was called up by this cruel looking woman. She was such a bloody bitch! I swear to god! Instead of smiling and assisting me, she pushed and shoved me into where she wanted me. She hiding behind a led wall while I'm stuck in there with this machine that is probably frying my brain!

By the end of it, i was ready to call it quits. I then had to wait even longer - with a throbbing arm to be told it's all good and i can go. I HATE ULTRASOUNDS! They suck arse! And hurt me no matter where they are put!

So, this morning i woke up as Joel's alarm went off, i was pretty much wide awake. I heard on the radio that Cat Haven were asking for donations of towels and pillow cases, food and such things. I remembered that i found some really old towels and stuff... so it was my mission today to give that to them, to help out some poor widdle kitty cats!!! Then Joel turns to me as he was waking up and asks "Can you drive me to work? I don't wanna drive!"

"Oh, ok..."

So i get up, get Blade in his doggy harness and hop into the car to drive him all the way up to Bassendean. At 6 sum fin am.
So right now, I'm in so much pain and discomfort because all of today's events have caught up with me

Oh well. I've donated a lot of towels, pillow cases and food to the Cat Haven! Please, i ask you people of Perth, to donate anything you can too them. If you're not a cat person, they have links on their page for dogs or other shelters!
Don't forget about your fury friends! I never could!! It's not fair that some animals get a loving family, and others just get kicked out the door because they were cute as kittens or Puppies and now they are older no one wants them.

My cat and dog live a very good life, my widdle pooch is spoilt with bones, cuddles, treats, kisses, baths, walks, play time, veterinary care and lots of toys. These animals go hungry, cold and have little day to day loving contact.
My puddy tat gets a big comfy bed to sleep on, plentiful food, cuddles and pets when he wants them. Those poor cats the shelter are locked up, with only just enough food to survive, and don't get to sleep next to someone who in a way depends on them for comfort.

Love and attention is so important for animals. Don't take your friends for granted, you'll never know how much you needed them until they're gone.
I tell mine that i love them every day! Do you!?

Well I'm outta here! I hurt too much!

- DVG

For once something good is happening to me! 2 of my Photographs;

Are being featured in a local exhibition here in Armadale. It's being held by the Rainier Fine Art Gallery, the exhibition is titled Young Offenders . You must check out their website, and if you're a local, YOU MUST GO AND CHECK IT ALL OUT!

Young Offenders - A Public Hanging
March 09 - 26, 2008
Webpage


You can purchase anything there, the profit goes to the young artist whom will get their work out there and in hopes get offered a good job. I have the opportunity to perhaps work in a studio!? *squeals* OMG i just cant wait for it's opening day!

I really need this. I need a studio job, i don't care with whom i am working with!! Just as long as i can take beautiful photo's and share them with the world! I some times makes me sad to think i might never get to live my dream... even for a day.

I know i have potential... i have the sight... but not the brains for everything tech knowledge
So if you like what is there, you can buy online if you cant make it. If not, you can go in, it runs for a good few weeks!

Now, as for me... im still hobling along with my arm! I keep trying to use it in a diferent way but in the end it just hurts. I'm typing with it now, but it's resting on a pillow and i cant type much more because i think im gonna pass out.

So, enjoy my new work...
Visit the website or gallery...
And have a great day! I'll be around if you need me.

Anyone can contact me on my mobile phone; (+61) 0410817399
- DVG

I do the right thing and all I get is a kick in the teeth.

I’m in agony all day and the people responsible for helping me heal back up don’t give a rat’s arse about me! In fact they are apparently doing highly illegal things just so I don’t get a payment from them.
My injury to my arm is getting worse, and without immediate medical attention too it soon this could become a law-suit (which I don’t know how it would work out seeing as I only have $5 too my name!)

All I want is my arm to be healed. To do that I need my compensation claim to be Okayed and to be sent to a specialist, doctors, physio and knowing my luck, rehabilitation.
I don’t want to be paid to sit around at home doing nothing. I'm starting to go fucking mental here! All I want to do right now is curl up into a ball, shut all curtains doors and windows and just cry!

I've been to centrelink (which was the biggest waste of time, effort and fuel) and all they tell me is that because of this and because of that you aren’t entitled to anything. This isn’t fare! And what shits me even more is that the fucking aborigines are getting paid thousands of dollars for nothing!!! When honest hard working people like me, who are down on their luck right now must starve so that the abo's can have their precious alcohol and not be prosecuted for any crimes they have committed against us!

I wanted to scream with tear running down my face in centrelink this morning! It's not fare! They have a fucked up system!! You've gotta be black or a whore to get payments, I just need a little bit to help pay for fuel and food and medication instead of Joel forking out for the bill... WHICH ISNT FARE ON HIM EITHER!!

Why do good people always get told too fuck off while thieves and lazy people get all the help and support they can get? The Australian government is wrong. Pizza Hut is wrong. I need a fucking break people! I need something MAJOUR to happen to me in a good way to even out all the wrong doings towards me and Joel! We need some fucking slack!!! Even if it's a week!!

I was considering calling the good Samaritans. Maybe they might help... although... they can’t give us money, only food which Joel wouldn’t eat.
Naturally I scrounge for every last little penny. All my life it's been penny pinching, missing out on almost everything and I feel envy for people who have had life served too them on a silver platter.
I know envy isn’t a good thing, but right now... I wish I could have someone say "Hey, you're a good young couple; Let me help you!"

I keep dreaming.

As for my arm; I saw my local doctor yesterday as I usually have too and he said that my arm is getting bad. That I can’t keep postponing my treatment.
That's all well and good for him to say that, but I cannot afford physio... and the specialist he wants me to see, if I go in privately it'll take 1 - 3 months. If I go in on compo I can see him on the 10th, but if my compo isn’t accepted then I’ll foot the bill. Same goes for physio, they can put me down as compo, but if it's declined then I’m stuck with the payments.

I don’t think it could be declined. Although I do think it'll be disputed! Even though I’ve never damaged my arms before! Ankles Yes, Arms No!
It is shitting me to tears.
Everyone is telling me to do this and call that. I can’t use the phone here at home because it isn’t working (yeah it all happens at once!), so I need to use my Nan’s - BUT - I have my mobile.... but it's a credit one and I haven’t got the money to spare on calling everyone on it. I tell people to call me on it! I've got it beside me all the time now! But no one calls.

I called the area manager of pizza hut, John, in the morning yesterday (and he was pissed that I called at the time) and enquired about getting my pay slips and how my compo is going. He is getting so aggravated that I keep asking! Joel says to not give a shit about him and keep harassing him! I might give him a call in a min actually.

Anyway he told me it's not in his hands any more, it's in Sally's. She is the HR Director who's over east (not even in Perth). So I call her... and no answer... I keep calling and still no answer. She has a message machine and at the end before it beeps she gave out her mobile # but the problem was she said it so fast I couldn’t hear it! Took me 3 goes to get it!

So I call her on her mobile and vola! She answers! - BUT -she hasn't heard anything about me or my claim. Even though John said she has it all now. She told me she'll check if it's in tomorrow (meaning now today) and I haven’t gotten a call yet. It is only 11am though, 1 pm over there.

I've sent a sms to her mobile but I haven’t gotten a reply. I might just need to drive to Nan’s and borrow her phone again. God I sound ridiculous saying that. So lame and needy.

Between coming home from MTU and going too Pizza Hut, Joel suggested that I check out the Work Cover WA website and see what I can find out about my situation.
I left them a message too and no answer, so I might give them a call as well.
I feel like I have a gag in my mouth, a sign on my back saying kick me and that I’m hog tied. I really do! Anyone got any suggestions? Anyone got something they can help me with? Food? Dog food? Fuel? Hugz and Kisses?

*sighs* I’m sorry. I don’t know why I bother some times. I can’t wait for my arm to heal, so I can go out into the work force, earn myself some good money, then when Joel finishes his apprenticeship, I hope we get sent too Germany! Get sent away and we can both work and have a comfortable life style. Get married, settle down and have kids where ever we decide to live! I just want our suffering too end. I want Joel to feel like he doesn’t have to sacrifice his pleasure sending money (I really want him to start buying more transformers and such!) so that I can have medications and that I have fuel to go to the doctors, so on.

I love him so much, I am although through it all, eternally grateful for the things that I do have. I have a man who loves me dearly, who does his very best to take care of me, watch over me, guide me and just be there for me. He does a good job at making me smile and laugh when I do finally cave in whilst he's tickling me!

I’m also grateful (although she is highly annoying) that I have a mother who is understanding and pays for my vehicle even though I am supposed too. Who can in a dire emergency offer me some financial help, helping me when Joel cannot?

I’m also grateful for my friends. Just because I don’t physically see them that often, I surround myself with their presence. Photos more importantly, but also things they've bought me, given me and shared with me.
They are the glue holding together what is left falling in my life. Thank you to all. Even my internet friends... although sometimes you don’t make a licka-sence, you’re still there!

I guess I better go and call some people. Show my little baby puppy that I love him, and then rest my poor arm. It's been aching all morning.
I'll see you all soon! I hope...

- Disturbed VG
(Tracey)